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Divorce Times Six!
By Ron Kule
One of my best friends could be considered an "expert" on divorces. He is not an attorney and he is not someone special - he just has had a lot of experience with divorces. My friend doesn't purport to know women especially well; if fact, he may tell you he just doesn't understand women at all. Still, I am more than sure he does love women...a lot. And all the women in his life, wherever they are today, might agree with that statement. You see, my friend has been married seven times...and divorced almost as many times, too! He didn't count on that happening, but it did. Each time he tied the knot he was certain it would be forever; it just didn't work out that way. First there was a teen lust connection. It kept the two together for a couple of years. The divorce came as simply as the marriage began - a simple ceremony of papers signed before the proper officials. After a few years of sluicing his way through bar entanglements - one night stands and various other limited engagements - a pregnancy lead to the 2nd marriage which ended abruptly in divorce when the proverbial "Meddling Mother-in-Laws" were found to be more than fiction. Unfortunately, their child ended up growing up in a city not of his choosing and with only one parent actively in his life for many years. No money passed between the two of them, like the first go-round, but it hurt like hell anyhow for obvious reason. Along came a casual encounter that developed into a serious relationship, a once-in-a-lifetime partnership that thrived for several years (you see, each marriage was tending to last longer than the first in his case)...until he got caught with his pants down in the wrong bedroom! The divorce was more emotionally painful for him than her, because she rebounded successfully with a string of trysts delivered right in front of his face (figuratively speaking here). What's a nice Ohio girl doing with a man from California, you ask? Answer: getting a meal ticket out of that state! Fun times yielded to going separate ways for good, and there's not much else to detail in that relationship. The mutual parting of the commingled waters made the divorce a long-distance affair that came and went in the snap of two fingers together. When artists collide they either make masterpieces or ruin each other's canvases. The masterpieces came in the form of many illustrations and poems, but the flames of argument and disagreement overcame and engulfed both canvases and artists. Starving financially, my friend escaped with yet another divorce notch in his holster and no financial obligations to regret. "A man can go crazy seeing a woman wearing nothing but a thong on the way to her bedroom" says my friend, and he should know, because lust was the connection and booty called. He seemed happy for awhile, but she never got rid of the cigarettes despite her promise before the aisle walk she would dispense with them. The divorce request should have read, "I love my smoking more than I love him, your Honor" because she put up no fight in the no-contest divorce that ensued the decision. I think I have made my case that my friend surely knows divorce. He thinks so after all these years. And if experiences are meant to be lessons to be learned, it appears he has learned something. You see, my friend has been happily married to the same woman he DIDN'T fall in love with in 1993, for 17 years and counting. Maybe the secret to divorce is to marry a friend first and just let "love" take its natural course.
Ron Kule is currently working with a unique, online marketing company called AdzZoo...and at night researches sports histories as Assistant Editor to award-winning sports book author, J David Miller.
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Contributor's Note
This intel may seem auto-biographical, but it's not necessarily true that fact is stranger than fiction!
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Thanks Ron, for the great story. Friendship is important.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
glad you liked my story, James. I find that any marriage wins on the foundation of really open communication, and forgivenesses when needed.
To like and respect one another is the basis for any genuine long-term relationship. Your enjoyable story is about such a relationship.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Thank you for commenting. It was fun to create the intel.
This fellow sounds a bit like Chaucer's Wife of Bath -- only a male counterpart. I do hope the last marriage lasts.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Janet, I was writing creatively, but based on true incidents.
Shows to go ya, that you can teach an old dog new tricks. Thank you for sharing one of life's interesting stories, Ron.
Best wishes.
Frederick
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Thanks, Frederick. Glad you found it interesting. I feel like my style of writing is coming back to the fore again.
Now that I've read this, my first (and so far only) divorce doesn't seem so bad after all.
 | | nick Mar 23, 2010 12:41 | |
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Que funny, Nick! Actually, going through a nasty divorce could make a day in the Bastille look good! lol
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